Missing my home...

i miss my previous life before i come to kampar study that time.
really feel happily..no worried...just play play play and play,dun even feel stress.
somemore,i got time to sit at kopitiam corner there for whole day with my fren ah kei..shoopping...buy things.chat....yam cha..smoke somemore...but now stop smoking.
Anyway..thats a gud memory with me compare to now.
i miss my fren..i miss my parents..i miss my dad..cause my previous life no need worry anythings ..got people fetch me here..fetch me there..wherever i want to go..somemore i receive money buy watever i want...totally said that im not going to worried for my life when i stay with my parents..
But now...all the things change..
i have to drive to school every morning,sometimes have to fetch my fren in same time.
i have to paid for petro by myself.
i have to adjust my credit when im using them.
i have to study hard to score my final exam.(this is the most stress to me).
since everyone also know that im not gud study during my secondary school,but now i choose to study in university...can u imagine my spm only get 5credit..but now..my every semester at list have to take 2B in my subject.but i got it.cause i know,when i put more effort,i will get a gud performance.
glad that im think to this way.
but.....now...i at kampar..i hope i can back to ipoh actually..but i cant,cause coming this monday i got three exam waiting for me to die.cause boths also hard subject for me.
webpage and maths.
in spm i got my maths in E credit.!!!!..i very hate maths actually.
but i have no choice.
try to love it...try to do it ..and do well on it.
i dun wish to repeat for any subject .
may god bless me

sluggish ..not saying tired.

In psychology course,i learn lots of social and personal attitude.
so when im tired...but not to mention "tired" this words.its only will bring u more "tired"
so better say im aware anytime any minutes,!even im stress...not going to mention that...cause if u dun think about it.u wont feel stress.but not mean to shut down your own emotion encode and decode
.
so..have to balance myself,after i study this course..i really hope i have a personal psychologist doc to take care of me..at list i know what im going on in my mind..and i have a remind that im changing or wat.

cause everyone also got a chance to being crazy or mental sickness...even our behaviour or attitudes different with others..through our behaviour or our attitude we can know how sick that person is.i mean in mental thinking and judge people
honestly, i quite worried about my bro actually..everyone also know his very bad temper and easily to judge people and like to blame this and that...i know how hurt he is last time..thats why his attitude change as this way..
i really wish to talk to him ,but he will judge me when i try to persuade him..what i can do?
the only way is try to love him more..care him more..let him know that im a lovely sis..
really worried him...when i refresh back how others bully him during his secondary school..i feel so sorry to him that im not protect him..he dun even mention to me..trough his best fren then i only know he get bully during his secondary school.
sad u know..feel like someone killing me.somemore,he always judge me and ah bing.i know ah bing dislike his attitude..but wat i can do?he's my bro..and the only one.
anyway...i will try to protect him start from now.dun wish anyone can bully him.
even how bad he is ..but he's still my bro...


heavenly father,plz let him aware that around him..got love and caring..he quite scare to get hurt.thats why before he get hurt he will try to judge a ppl before deeply know about that person.
i really hope that i can change his attitude..

i love my bro very much.but hard to describe out.plz...pray for him...
somemore...i really hope my babe ah bing will go to church with me and join us,but i know he didt say no not mean he like.he dun wish to join,but im not forcing him.i just wish to let him know how worth our god...how faithfull he is...hope one day he will know.

heavenly father.i pray may holy spirit leave in my heart,im willing to put myself down,humble to u lord, i pass all my future,my family and my future husband..cause i belive u are a real god in my heart.and i can feel how worth u are.in jesus name i pray ,amen.

RELATION should improve in everyday.

Im so glad that i already gather with bing bing almost half year ago...but we feel like already gather for many many years..we everyday meet each other,every week also facing ...morning..afternoon...even at night...
but ..wont feel bored on each other..
hihi...cause we have a true heart to each other.
not that i want to prasing myself.
i just feel happy that we have this kind of relationship.
In my ex bf list......in my record...i never face a guy every day like right now..
i never feel so happy before that i gather with him.(cause everday also make me laugh..like to talk stupid things to make me laugh...but quite funny that joke he talked..-.-.even my housemate also cant tahan him...)
i never feel scare to lost him...(because he always say i like "electric plug" or "plates" more then him..-.-)u know why?cause when im looking for plate to put my food..i told him i like this "plate" cause not so hot when i put my maggie mee with soup....this is why he said me like "plate"!-
"electric plug" also...-.-swt...

he's a "gud" guy seriously.u know why????

hahaa.....let me list down what he will do every day or every months...

1st....cook for me..wahhaha....not bad..but my cooking better then him.. 2nd...wash cloths ....even we wash together..but when i called him to help..he will fast fast come de...very 'ting hua'..hihi 3rd...."kap chan" ..mean swap the floor ..make sure the floor is clean enough.. somemore... 4th...everyday will saying jokes to make u laugh.,somemore...thats funny until u wont laugh,.. 5th... 6th./.. 7th.. 8th.... 9th. 10th.......everday is valentines day!!!!wahahhahahahaha.. even he always say no money no money..but he still will buy me shoes...high heel....or bag to me....hihihihihi.......cause he know i love them so much. but sure that i love him more then them la..if not he wont buy for me,-.-(better dun let him see wat i type here.0,0..sure no bag bag anymore..-.-


At first i dun agree gather with him cause i really scare to hurt him,cause i know he's a gud guy.
wont play with gal..as playboy
but...myself...sometimes i worried myself concept.
girls is like that..like to think lots of "if'" or somethings that no link ..-.-...
aiz...
i hope i can look forward.
dun think back.
.



seriously,i still scare to get hurt from guys.thats why start from beginning i scare to be couple.
....deeply hurt by a guy who are not appreciate u when u treat a person with ur true heart as the same time....wat for that i wait people treat me as well.i just sit down and enjoy.
am i right?

but now.....i learn to forgive ..learn to treat people as the true heart...not think to receive. or rewards from others..
i just wan to treat him as gud as well.
with my true heart..
thats why...
sometimes when i go home i will cook for him..i will wash cloths with him..do housework together..go buy foods together...go take lunch together......somemore.......


may god bless us,and hope he will belive in christ..cause i really hope..once a day we will meet at heaven...not separate with hell..
cause i hope my lover will save his spiritual...
in jesus name i pray amen..

not because i too 'MI XIN' it is because i really belive this will be happend to everyone when the world to be end up that day

different ppl different thinking..

Since my 'fren' call me come out yam cha when i back to ipoh with a gang
some of them are younger then me and that boy call me come out yam cha,then i told them i will choose papa rich,but they scare no money.since they though have to paid around rm50++per one person!!!!
can u imagine?
can i go out with them??
omg.
not i wan to look down on ppl.
i just cant imagine i got those fren who are like this.
really feel embarass if i went out with them.
but depend on who la.since that guy i know him ..ok la..still can accept.
but for other unmature gals...oh..sorry lo....
really...like a jie jie bring all kids to yam cha.-.-
somemore that guy know lots of amc gal..and keep telling other that im his ex wo..
omg...i dun even hold his hand before lo!
diu....++somemore he....really not my cup of tea.-.-

aiz,..really...how come this world got this kind of ppl geh...
aiz.


somemore somemore!!!..since chinese new year i went out with a gangs.
we go jusco.
u know...really embarass until i wanna leave alone better.
since we shop at shopping mall,we go in G2000 ,since i wanna buy formal cloths,but the color not suit me ,then i think better go PDI there to take a look,
when i wanna face to the door on that time.,.
u know what i saw??????

we all know G2000 there got lots mirror on the wall right?easy for customer look for it.
what u most fucking is they all group together and takE picture infront of that mirror!!!!!


WAT THE FUCK!
on that second i really dun wish to walk infront to call them..somemore they are not high school jor!!!!
wat for they doing this!!

bullshit u know...aiz...cant imagine..
is it i too serious??or they too childish???

aiz..
who knows?