ALMOST COMING my exam..-.- final..-.-..

YER,,,,NO MOOD TO STUDY NOW..since today i wake up at 8 somethings thn start to study..but not enough one and hour..i back to sleep..cause cannot tahan...my eyes feel like wanna close it automatically..
i have no choice..just lay on my bed until 12pm something..after i cook my maggie ..finish it..and start my management ....study study study....play awhile thn study back.....anyway,i have study today..until just now..i take my pass year question paper to do..omg!!!very big different with what i had memories.=.=i cant even find any answer to the question.-.-
wat the hell.....aiduh....later wanna sit down and do it vividly..-.-check it clarity..-.-
omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omgggggggggggggggggggg.............................................
feel like i cant take in gud result with this sub..since yesterday i talk to my dad on phone..he promise me that if i get an A in my result...he will buy me a big big bear!!!let me choose what ever i want..aiz.......
feel like i cant get it lo...........-.-
bad bad bad!!stupid brain!!!cant even concentrate errrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
when im facing my midterm..i never lazy like this situation..-.-.....duno what wrong with me..

MOODY DAY....stupid esther

A VERY EARLY MORNING...around 11am i only wake up...really as like a pig!
i dunno y currently i can sleep very late ...since like normal day i never like this also...i will try to wake up early..but now...really act like pig....other than that,i thought today when i wake up...quickly sit on the chair and start to study my marketing...since i have 5subject have to take in my exam which is held on feb1!!!!!shit! u know..not enough time to prepare...the most shitly is i cant even concentrate to study today...what i know is ...1st..today...after i take breakfast with my babe at oldtown. kampar.my lovely lasksa ..thn go back..take a bath.. go sit on the chair..=.=not with notes..with my computer..after half and hour...than i guai guai de...sit on the chair.. open my notes...thn study...after i memories few words..than..dunno wat the hell i stand up automatically..then my legs walk toward my room..-.-!!!!!nvm...just think it normaly.feel tired or wat...then..after few minutes ...i come out from my room..continue sit on the chair..not enough few minutes ..i stand up..-.-.....sit down..stand up....this whole day i keep repeat this two action,.wat the hell!!!!!really dunno wat i really want to do.
bored until i do this kind of study action in my kampar hostel there.!...even my babe saw me like that...he also ask .."what the hell u doing there?!" not like study..not like sleeping..doing nothings..-.- look like orang kurang upaya.-.-
aiz...until evening...i try to study my marketing..until i finish droup down all the notes..
hum...since now i sit infront of my pc again...typing nothings...aiduh..........-.-....stupid esther!congratufuckinglation..-.-

pray for washes my sins

God..can tell me how to improve myself?i need you change my life again. i need to change to be holy...cause i know..what i cannot do..what i can do.but sometimes..i really cant control myself..even my tempered..god..... plz....wash my sins...change my life god..in jesus name i pray,amen..

tired but cant sleep

now already 2am.but i still cant sleep..im tired.....aiz.help ........arrrrrrrrrrrrr...
i wan my babe company me arrrrr...but he watch movie movie movie..
aiz..sei lo...feel hungry somemore.
but have to tahan....cant eat...keep fit ar........

suffering arrr......
omg......


arrrr.........
help.....
tired..
cant sleep...

i have a group of lovely frens ,thnks god

today i cant wake up for my lecture class at 10am..but ah g strat calling me up at 9.30....i really cant stand jor..she try to shake me up start at 9am somethings..omg..really tired..
after having my lecture ,we go to take breakfast with jason and xiao li.after finish our breakfast...lucky they company me to see mr bala for my sociology assignment..cause i really dunno how to do it..friday have to hand in 15 pages about it!
is hard for me..i scare my groupsmates didt do also..aiz..thats why go to ask teacher alone..
finally my best frens all company me...hihi....thnks god..
after we get info from teacher..me and ah g go library study my marketing since my final coming soon..
after 5.30pm..library have to close..then we back to home for a while then i come out at 6pm for my two lovely discussion,aizzz,....until 11pm...then only take my 'lunch'=.= but anyway,really thnks god that i have a babe company me take my 'lunch' together and yet,he saw me stress on my assignment..he try to help me complete it..
so happy to have so many best frens around me..all of this people ,i know..god prepare for me.
i really hope i can get high marks on those subject...
god..help me..

angry + angry.

today we go tescco...yue yee ,ah g, kyunie, kent pin and me esther@!those are wat we bought today.hihi




yesterday my 'auntie' visit me,thats why currently my temper very bad. this few days i already worried about my assignment,friday have to hand in already.but now haven start yet..and yet,.i worried my final somemore...i scare i will fail u know..i dun wish repeat my course..somemore..my pc lag today..thats why more bad in mood..when i chat with my fren in msn.."hi bye fren" he ask me how today...i just tell him i bad in mood. thn he say "ciu; how come always bad in mood,is tat real" i really hate guy talk so rude with gal and yet this is my 1st time to answer like this way,,i just reply one word thn i delete him in my msn "diu"@! really wanna fuck him gao gao!dun i dun wish to continue my conversation with him. and yet my bf say me also..that i so bad temper ,easy get angry.. i din't answer anything..i admit im very bad in mood today,but please....i really cant control it..better dun care me.ignore me plz.dun ask me why.dun think to answer

hot temper

dunno why.currently i very easy to blow up my temper.
aiz...since many stuff adding stress on me..
feel so heavy on my shoulder,even ihave a walk also hard.
now im still studying already so stress..but how about my future? when im working is it more stress?i will going crazy?
aiz....but infront my cousin,my frens...i wont let them really know that i very stress for that..sometimes i have to cover whold assignment..sometimes have to do double job.
i will tell them that i still can handle it.
since last friday,i got two assignment,my fren told me that just simply present thats ok le..but,automatically,one sentence come out from my mind.."i dun wan just present well,i hope im the best presenter in my groups."
Thats hard,sometimes..in my groups got few of them who get very high marks...i cant do better then them,but forsure i will try my best.i hope in my future i can get a high salary job,earn lots money,then stay with my parents.i dun wish that i cant give anythings to them,if really wan to give i will give most gud things to them.
what ever they want,i can give them,wat ever they need,i can help them.
this is wat i wan in my future.

sexy gal..

wow..so many sexy gal..
leona lewis..marey carey..paris hilton..fergie...and lots..
humm..this only call sexy pretty hot..!!!!not those fucking look..
aiz..
since those pic i capture with my ex-secondary schoolmates.
lol...
i dun feel im low standard seriously.
plz dun tell me so suck things ..stop telling me.and stop thoucher me..

speechless.

someone really make me feel so speechless. i have a closer fren,but i cant say i like her so much,cause of her attitude. she dun even know wat can talk wat cannot talk..wat can do wat cannot do. since i know tat her parents too love her,but somethings tat we know,over love will make negative when she look normal.quite nice. but when she angry or when she dun even help u to do assignment,dun keep the things properly....quite unlike. aiz.. but i cant say anythings, i just can type at here. should i continue same group with her or wat? sometimes i have t cover up for her. cant do anythings. i had told my bf before..but.....hard for us to talk to her..cause she very "xiao jie " hope one day she will change her attitude,even her bf also can tahan her for few years...really geng..hihi..since her bf told us about her history before. other than tat..dunno y currently i feel tat im not well.since i wan to go to see doctor..but i duno where to find a gal doctor. aiz.....should i go ????but where should i go???? need to spend lots.. aiz... worried..worried........... tat day yue yee chat with me..i only know tat sometimes when i talk those words wil hurt ah bing..but i didt care his feeling before.. cause i always say those who love u ensure not the most u love. now i only know this very very hurt my babe..sorry babe. forgive me can? i admit tat last time i still cant put my ex down from my heart..i still miss him well. but now..i can tell honest...i just wan my babe only.cause i know who treat me seriously..who are playing me. dear.....plz dun angry me..i love u lots.. i hope tat i can be ur future wife..but i dunno i got this chance or not.. hihi...my babe bing bing is a very gud guy..future...he will be a very gud husband.. dunno y i feel wanna cry out..very sorry for my babe..cause i lie him tat i had forget my ex. very sorry i didt care ur feeling.. very sorry tat i miss my ex..i dun wan hurt u dear. i just wan back my babe tats enough for me.now already 3.52am..i missing my babe ..bing bing....hope u missing me too.. mausck..gud night..dear

new year.1jan2010

On 1stjan2010 i came back ipoh.
somethings happened to my fren kyunie.tat day he drunk,kena tounch by a idoit name IVAN KOK@!Finally when i reach home my fren only told me she kena touch by tat fucker.if not...for sure i will slap him gao gao!!!!not even handsome..not even gentle..comfirmly no gals will love him!for sure...he have no future...look so suck!
for me..i wont let this thing happend around me,even though im not the victim.other i dun care.
i hate guy so ham sap!I HATE GUY SO STUPID!I HATE GUY SO scare when somethings happend!i hate guy not even gentle!
really wanna fuck those guy who so scare stuff!!!really useless...
Me esther har!!!!!i swear i wont couple with those guy who are no wisdom and so childish at all!!!!!forsure!!!!!!totally!!!!!!
since today i got discussion my writing for business.A gal told me tat she like to see leng lui..and she so admire my campus's pretty gal..
but for me..very sorry.
i really sorry to say tat i wont even admire a gal even though singer or wat.
cause i know,im special also..i same status with them in my god eyes.
y i say so?
think....do u see a gal who look similar like me??as same as possible???
i can say no!
cause im special too..
i dun think they are very famous...for me,i only care about my stuff..other...very sorry.
and yet..i dun wish to find a bf only for gud looking without wisdom..no future.
i cant even accept those guy who same age as me and chase those idoit pretty gal...
fuck off..
here is m'sia.
i dun think they are most pretty at all..
dun even put them in my mind.
no status at all.
plz la...my fren...dun keep say tat u like tat pretty gal.
i can honestly tell u im not jelous.but for me..she is not the most pretty.
if u wanna find a pretty gal i can tell u tat in media status damn lots...she just a normal looking.
and plz...dun keep saying u admire..i dun wan hurt u only.
really wanna tell u tat..she loook suck
lol..
wake up plz.
a gal who mean at pretty is wisdom,wise thinking..mature.have a gud future.
not only look for the face.
if pretty mean only on face...mean itu memang like pelacur.cause even a pelacur also must have a gud looking.
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
really blew up my temper!!!almost be explore dragon@!@!@!
shit shit shit!!!!no future